its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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