Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
