oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
