We won't sleep together?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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