Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
