I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
