Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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