1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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