Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize