Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i used baking grease as lip gloss
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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