Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
