I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize