If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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