I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
