I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
