I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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