I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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