She said her name was "party"
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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