You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
