Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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