You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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