You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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