Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
