The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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