Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
