Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
