I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
