I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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