Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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