Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
