He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
