So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
