They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Help. Why am I so naked?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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