we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
