You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
