i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
