how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
