She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
