oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
