I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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