Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
