I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
