I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
