at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize