just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Vodka?
Forever.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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