i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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