i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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