Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is her dick bigger than yours?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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