Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have post one night stand depression
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
