He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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