A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
