ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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