Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
