what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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