How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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