Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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