he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just found a bag of teeth...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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