I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
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Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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