Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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