Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
