kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
