he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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