I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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