I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
